...so i touched it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
