i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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