How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
