And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
