Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
