yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
