Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
