just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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