Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
