Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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