i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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