There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
