i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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