I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
