I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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