mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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