Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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