guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just googled if crying burns calories
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
