Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
