Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
