you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
