Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
