i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Damn victory sex feels great
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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