Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
