My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
