Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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