This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
