worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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