Im at strip club and am horny
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
