I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
