walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
