Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
