Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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