If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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