Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
