I didn't shave. On purpose
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
