we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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