My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
