Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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