I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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