In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
