Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
