Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
