oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I believe in your delicious
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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