Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
