It's like God shit irony all over that family
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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