My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
