And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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