Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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