I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
