I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
