Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Randomize
