Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
