i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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